Compulsively checking the job sites for new ads

“Various positions” clickbait

Editing your cover letter so many times you can recite it, in all its customized iterations

Send us: a cover letter, your CV, a writing sample, a teaching statement, a research statement, a diversity statement, a statement about our mission statement, 3 letters of reference and 2 sample syllabi… for a 1 year, non-renewable postdoc ^__^

Send an original sample syllabus for a ~*dream course*~ you’d like to teach here, teehee!

Three words: Academic Jobs Online

Hate-reading CHE and IHE articles that are just too relatable

The sound of silence

The entire month of November

Compulsively checking the job wikis

Ghosted after a campus visit

Fuck, it was a fake search all along

Other people not recognizing that you are a formidable scholar and would make the best colleague ever, when that is 100% the truth and I believe in you
