Compulsively checking the job sites for new ads
“Various positions” clickbait
Editing your cover letter so many times you can recite it, in all its customized iterations
Send us: a cover letter, your CV, a writing sample, a teaching statement, a research statement, a diversity statement, a statement about our mission statement, 3 letters of reference and 2 sample syllabi… for a 1 year, non-renewable postdoc ^__^
Send an original sample syllabus for a ~*dream course*~ you’d like to teach here, teehee!
Three words: Academic Jobs Online
Hate-reading CHE and IHE articles that are just too relatable
The sound of silence
The entire month of November
Compulsively checking the job wikis
Ghosted after a campus visit
Fuck, it was a fake search all along
Other people not recognizing that you are a formidable scholar and would make the best colleague ever, when that is 100% the truth and I believe in you
