In an interview about his new film “Behind the Candelabra”, actor Michael Douglas told the Guardian that his throat cancer was caused not by years of smoking but “by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.” Douglas said, “I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer.” He shrugs. “And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it. . . It giveth and it taketh.” When I first heard this story, I thought Douglas was compensating for playing a flamboyantly gay character by boasting of his heterosexual male prowess (and/or showing that despite his age and illness, he can still satisfy his much younger wife).